Till few years back, life was easy, and I was too laidback
to be called modern, well not in style but in approach which was a small town
one.
I remember those days when the craving was ………. what to wear
tomorrow to college?? ………how to celebrate a friends B ‘day party and give him/
her a nice surprise….or going to IIT flyover with friends at 2 AM in the cold
freezing wintry morning of Delhi to eat Paratha’s……..even riding a bike for 25
Km in the freezing temp to catch a movie at Chanakya with a friend ….
collecting 20 Rs each for a Murga party at 641.
Endless list...
These occasions were dealt with and are remembered very
fondly even today. I used to think ahead daily. Laughter’s been real and lips
and eyes were synchronized…… gestures were genuine and had a soul to it…….
Words were delivering what they meant and there was no reading between the
lines. Everything had a heart and Soul.
And that was the past…
Present Jolts me to another reality, when I look into the
mirror today, I see the same face but a different approach …. It has a metro
feel now.
What brought this change?? I do not know, maybe I have
started flowing with the tide and became someone who I was not... may be surroundings
changed me.... now I have no time for those late-night hangouts anymore…… A 25
KM bike ride for a movie looks impossible and B ’day?? Who remembers them now…
This is modern … This is ME.
Recently I was searching something on Wikipedia and came
across a word “Taarof” – it means that it governs the rules of hospitality:
For ex- a host is obliged to offer anything a guest might
want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat
itself several times before the host and guest finally determine whether the
host's offer and the guest's refusal are real or simply polite.
It set me thinking and took my uneasy mind to another sphere
altogether……………. has “Taarof” taken over our lives and it means everything to
us in real life. Have we become too modernized to avoid any real hospitality
towards Friends, family, Peers, Strangers or for that matter anyone!!! Because
when I look back and analyse, everything looks like a “Taarof” ……and it seems
that anyone proposing/ offering anything is just carrying a facade of “Taarof”
…… do they mean it or do they not???
Question unanswered ….
But this newfound knowledge has taken a toll on my thinking,
and I have started noticing the feigned attempts of “Taarof” being practiced.
A fake laughter not reaching the eyes……. Words spoken not
carrying the meanings they are spoken for……. Gestures shown to please only….
Things said and done without soul………
where is the heart where is the soul??
I cannot say about others but seems I am practicing Taarof.
Now whenever I recognise a Taarof… I just remember these two
lines from the movie Masoom.
Bahut khubsurat
hai har baat Lekin
Agar dil bhi
hota to kaya baat hoti…….
