We had a Ball…. Navy Ball

Dec is a time of Year which brings lots of festivities, Xmas, New Year etc…. This year I added one more festivity to my kitty ………Navy Ball. After having a great time this New Year, We Planned to attend to navy Ball as well.

With all good and bad things in life, news of any new thing is greeted with mixed responses. Here are some samples responses for this news in direct order as it happened, divided into Boys and girls...

Boys
Bansi—Man we will have fun, what babes...HOT.

Jali-- Wow Man, this time I might even Dance so Parry does not have do a pole dance around me….Daru will be cheap, What babes….. HOT.

Parry—Thank God that Jali will dance …. I will watch the babes… What Babes…. HOT

Now the Girls.
First thought
RA- What will I wear.
SB- What will I wear.
SR- What will I wear.

Second Thought
RA- Parry will buy a new dress for me.
SB- Bansi will have to buy a new dress for me.
SR- Jali... Will u buy a new dress for me?

Third thought
RA- will not spend more than 5K
SB- will not spend more than 5K
SR- Jali... Will u buy a new dress for me?

Meanwhile we boys are still thinking--- what babes man- HOT
We are suddenly brought to ground from our beautiful dream… by below admission of girls.
Fourth Admission
RA- can I get a new dress? (Meaning- U better buy it or it will not be good for Ur health, u might have to do with maggi in Br, lunch, dinner which u will have to cook Ur self)

SB- I am getting a new dress will not spend more than 5K (Meaning- I am going to buy it and u have to like it otherwise u can starve or live on water. And CC bill will be FYA).

SR- Jali... Will u buy a new dress for me?

Having solved the issue of dress a fifth thought comes to their mind.
Fifth Thought

RA- By the way when is the navy ball and where
SB- By the way when is the navy ball and where
SR- By the way when is the navy ball and where

We oblige them with details( as if there was a choice)

Date – 8th Dec,
Venue- Navy Club- Colaba
Time- 8:30 PM

Eventually the dresses were bought and harmony prevailed, and the D day arrived.

Time – 6:30 Pm
Venue- Makeup chamber in Parry residence

Parry- dear get ready we need to be on time, we need to start at 8:30.
RA- don’t worry, will be ready and don’t disturb me now. (Concentrating on the makeup)

Time – 7:30 Pm
Parry- dear get ready we need to be on time, we need to start at 8:30.
RA- don’t worry, will be ready and don’t disturb me now. (Concentrating on the makeup)

Time – 8:30 Pm
Parry- dear get ready we need to be on time, we need to start at 8:30.
RA- don’t worry, will be ready and don’t disturb me now. (Concentrating on the makeup)

Time – 9:00 Pm
Parry- dear get ready we need to be on time, we had to start at 8:30.
RA- don’t worry, I will be in 5 minutes, (Concentrating on the makeup)


Time – 9:30 Pm
Parry- dear get ready we need to be on time, we had to start at 8:30.
RA- You disturb so much, I can’t even do my makeup properly, I al leaving it unfinished lets go and how come you are not ready. Hurry up

Time – 9:35 Pm
Parry- I shaved, showered and worn the party dress, I am ready, can we go now.
RA- Yes. (Muttering under breadth, that I have not allowed her to do makeup.)

We reached Bansi/ jail’s place….. Lo and behold…. Makeup is still on at their residence also
After 10 minutes of cajoling we got ready and started for venue and reached there at 10.45 PM. Bhai its Mumbai... Going late in a part is fashionable.

The atmosphere was electric; Venue was next to the Sea and beautifully done and crowd was awesome…. What babes…. HOT and Scorching,
Dresses were a mere formality in some cases, Good that all three of us wear glasses or our eyes would have popped out. DJ was playing some good music and I started gyrating to the same in the only and inimitable dance form I know… yes... Bhangara and suddenly I was alone, as in my group disappeared…. Bhangara so LS….

Oblivious of their uncomfortable gaze, I went on… a true soldier never quits. DJ who was playing the English nos till now, after seeing my spirited performance changed to Hindustani and I could see almost entire floor erupting into Bhangara….….. LEAD INDIA… TUM CHALO TO HINDUSTAN CHALE……. See the difference I made.
Now my friends and missus joined me and we were a happy family again (Remember Rs 5K for the Dress).
Drinks were flowing so was food… We had a gala time till around 3 in the morning and then when My Body refused to make any more dancing moves (Mind & Eyes were still saying.....What Babes… HOT), so we left the venue fully satisfied. But alas the satisfaction was very short lived as the moment we started another thought process started flowing in Girl’s minds.

What will they wear for New Year………………………

Hazaaron khwahishein aisi….

It all started on Nov 29th …not very long ago in past. The chain of khwahishein… whose???
Well…. Mine!!

Some samples......

I wanted to run away from home, when not accommodated on my Whims… Feeling is still the same…
I wanted to Burn the world when some one shouted at me.
I wanted to win all the Basket ball matches which I played for school.
I wanted to become the best High jumper. (Yes I Was fighting fit once…).
I wanted to…… The list is endless

No, I never had this inclination of becoming a Pilot/ Astronaut / or any thing which had any thing to do with driving ….And this was because of a very simple reason that my home place “THE HASAN PUR” was light years ahead of such things and we believed in more pollution free environment and riding a Bullock cart was cool…….. It still is.

Coming to HASANPUR- The infrastructure is unmatched in comparison to any city in the world… we are so secure that it cannot be detected from a flying plane in the night also…. Govt has ensured nil electricity till date.

Now coming back to khwahish.

For now I would focus on the “I wanted to be a celebrity” part. Which, as a Kid I wanted to become?

I Wanted to be celebrity… and with my drop dead handsome look (don’t look for long you might drop Dead) my first priority obviously was Bollywood; I wanted to be become a………… Top Singer. (Hahaha u guessed wrong).

So all my neighbors and family members bore the brunt of my this Ambition ,My voice was so dynamic that it went on a automatic metamorphism, it varied from Mukesh To Kishore and ultimately stopped at S.P Bala and the growth stopped… so did this Khwahis.

School was the most carefree period in life… I wanted to become an officer in Indian Armed forces… But my Eye sight was weak…. Couldn’t see enemy from long distance and there was no point seeing them from Short distance….. (The crisis continues even today)… Death of another Khwahis.

College opened up new horizons… The focus shifted on fairer sex and How to be part of the coveted circle of people who has damsels throwing themselves at them.

And struggle I did….. left no stone unturned… to an extent that those awesome looking girls could have sung … Koi Patthar se na mare mere diwane ko….however my deadly looks combined with my “I am the best” behavior didn’t help… (Facts unchanged till today). Death of another Khwahis…..

Enterprising streak in me took me to my MBA. I loved every moment of the 2 years spent. (No moment is not a girl’s name). Those days spent in Comp lab, refreshing our knowledge of human Anatomy and memorizing, analyzing and appreciating its various finer aspects (to clear the confusion, I graduated in Finance and IT as Major) were pure bliss. Ambitions were running high and were changing on a daily basis and I was flowing with the flow.

Sample this…..

Make Thyagu’s life miserable.
Join LIC as a Cobol programer.
NK.
NK.
NK.
End result… all dead Khwahishein…………

But the best part of all this even after so meny premature and mature Death of my Khwahis… Am still dreaming and having Khwahis.
The latest one is to have a Six Pack…. No I don’t want this to die. And I have not set any time lines either.

Fraud Risk is Everyone’s business

My article published in the company news letter ....

Today there is far less tolerance of fraud or misconduct in whatsoever form it takes. There is an augmented expectation from regulators, shareholders and the market that suspicions / instances of fraud or misconduct will be investigated successfully and on a real time basis and that any perpetrators will be dealt with fittingly.

A study by KPMG on bifurcation of fraud industry wise, shows that 50% of the total frauds are arising out of financial industry

Elements of Fraud Risk

There are four general elements under common law, which all must be present for a fraud to exist:
Misrepresentation of a material fact.
Made knowingly and with intent to defraud.
Reliance on the misrepresentation by the victim.
Resulting in injury from such reliance.

These elements comes into force in the kind of environment we as a financers work in, and some Part of the risk involves being sure of whom you are dealing with,

Internal Customers ( those we assign to run our business, like managers or Channel)
External Entity ( With whom we do business, like our customers )

Across organizations it has been observed that

Employees and executives who feel unfairly treated sometimes believe they can commit occupational fraud and abuse workplace conditions are therefore a major risk factor in predicting fraud.
Those faced with embarrassing financial difficulties pose a significant problem. The simple moral is to pay attention to what goes on outside the books, too.

So while we are looking at the numbers keep an eye and both ears open for disgruntled personnel’s. It may mean all the difference in detecting fraud.


Reasons for Fraud Risk

Management’s across the world has started implementing processes for identifying and investigating early signs of fraud. Sources that will assist in identifying alleged fraud and misdemeanors will include:

Whistleblowers
Internal controls
External auditors

Some argue that internal controls are simply not enough to deter fraud. They cite two reasons:
Controls are supposed to provide only reasonable assurance.
There are few controls that cannot be overridden or circumvented by people with sufficient motivation.

This point itself makes it all the more a reason for all to be vigilant and encourage Whistle blowing, as Employees acknowledge fraud as a realism of corporate life, and they come across it every day. It becomes their role to bring it out to fore. Hence making the Organization a Fraud Risk free One.

As we emphasize that Fraud Risk is every ones business.

I was human once and then……… I became modern.

Till few years back, life was easy, and I was too laidback to be called modern, well not in style but in approach which was a small town one.

I remember those days when the craving was ………. what to wear tomorrow to college?? ………how to celebrate a friends B ‘day party and give him/ her a nice surprise….or going to IIT flyover with friends at 2 AM in the cold freezing wintry morning of Delhi to eat Paratha’s……..even riding a bike for 25 Km in the freezing temp to catch a movie at Chanakya with a friend …. collecting 20 Rs each for a Murga party at 641.

Endless list...

These occasions were dealt with and are remembered very fondly even today. I used to think ahead daily. Laughter’s been real and lips and eyes were synchronized…… gestures were genuine and had a soul to it……. Words were delivering what they meant and there was no reading between the lines. Everything had a heart and Soul.

And that was the past…

Present Jolts me to another reality, when I look into the mirror today, I see the same face but a different approach …. It has a metro feel now.

What brought this change?? I do not know, maybe I have started flowing with the tide and became someone who I was not... may be surroundings changed me.... now I have no time for those late-night hangouts anymore…… A 25 KM bike ride for a movie looks impossible and B ’day?? Who remembers them now…

This is modern … This is ME.

Recently I was searching something on Wikipedia and came across a word “Taarof” – it means that it governs the rules of hospitality:

For ex- a host is obliged to offer anything a guest might want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat itself several times before the host and guest finally determine whether the host's offer and the guest's refusal are real or simply polite.

It set me thinking and took my uneasy mind to another sphere altogether……………. has “Taarof” taken over our lives and it means everything to us in real life. Have we become too modernized to avoid any real hospitality towards Friends, family, Peers, Strangers or for that matter anyone!!! Because when I look back and analyse, everything looks like a “Taarof” ……and it seems that anyone proposing/ offering anything is just carrying a facade of “Taarof” …… do they mean it or do they not???

Question unanswered ….

But this newfound knowledge has taken a toll on my thinking, and I have started noticing the feigned attempts of “Taarof” being practiced.

A fake laughter not reaching the eyes……. Words spoken not carrying the meanings they are spoken for……. Gestures shown to please only…. Things said and done without soul………

where is the heart where is the soul??

I cannot say about others but seems I am practicing Taarof.

 

Now whenever I recognise a Taarof… I just remember these two lines from the movie Masoom.

Bahut khubsurat hai har baat Lekin

Agar dil bhi hota to kaya baat hoti…….

Feeling Young...

Well... for last few years my friends and missus are trying to convert me into the youth which I have left somewhere at the start of the millennium... and have become after youth.

In nutshell, they were trying to drag me to a Disco.... well, the thoughts itself was revolting that I pay money to dance.... moreover, I belong to a category of dancers for whom the phrase “when elephant dances it’s the grass which suffers" fits perfectly. After playing a spoilsport for 3 years finally I gave in… as the saying goes… “Try until u succeed” and here I was with 5 of my friends and missus of course, at Ra LOUNGE!!!

On our arrival the place was as empty as a Mumbai Bund, at 10.30 PM we were the first arrivals, can’t blame them… it’s we who are rustic in such worldly matters who doesn’t know the timings to reach a disc.

Since lots of moolah was at stake we started utilizing it in all forms…one hour later some of us were in different stages of stupor and with additional liquid energy flowing in me, I like true blue disc hopper was raring to go and unleash myself on the dance floor.

Meanwhile the crowd was swelling with nubile lissom lasses in halters, mini’s, hip hugging bone crunching jeans and the likes… bulging biceped men showing their perfect 6 packs and Arnold muscles in body hugging tee’s ………and here I was dressed in my best casual’s … shirt tucked in jeans covering my very visible paunch complete with my Nike ACG shoes.

And I made my grand entry on the floor with the only dance form I know… u guessed it right… Bhangra!!!! suddenly the crowded dance floor looks little less crowded… was it the cleaning made by frantic irregular and off beat movement of my legs and hands doing Bhangra to the tune of some unheard off Rap/ Trans number?

Misuses and friends immediately distanced themselves from me and were in a hip-hop pose looking bemused and saying who this great dancer…whom they don’t know??? Oblivious to their staring and missus discomfort I went on dancing on all the numbers played.

I saw the people leaving the dance floor and making a beeline for exit… I hope I have not put them to shame as with all their knowledge of dance they do not know a basic dance like Bhangra. Or was it police getting the place closed as it was 1.30 am in the morning…. Alas……. I will never know. But yes, I am feeling young.... alcohol is a great leveller.

And the Ants Scaled the mountain.....

Wo.....w.. zim Defeated the Mighty Australians.......

Chak de moment..... How sad

Other day I was watching India putting all its effort to chase and win in Oval.... looked quite an uphill task, kudos to stalwarts Sachin & Dada and young guns Dhoni & Robin, India did unthinkable.... We WON and what a win that was.... Heart attacks are a common phenomenon in such wins.

Wait.... now the sad point, after the win, there was a background music.... yes right .... chak de... chak de India.... sad to see the effort of Shahrukh khan going down the drain to lift the national game…… in turn it lifted the national time pass.